By Sylvia Hepler

Do you know how other people "hear" you when you speak? Have you ever asked for feedback on your volume, words, and tone? Do folks at work take you seriously in both business meetings and personal conversation? In general, do you feel like something is missing in your overall communication style? This article provides ten juicy secrets that, when implemented, can make the difference between merely talking and truly impacting your sphere. Even doing one can lift you out of mediocrity.

1. Center yourself before speaking.
Breathe deeply, focus, and plan your opening line. Concentrate on the other person rather than yourself. This helps you to relax and appear sincere.

2. Sound like an adult.
If you sound like a baby or small child, you lose the respect of your audience immediately. Especially with men. Align your tone, pitch, and word choice to your professional stature.

3. Establish eye contact.
This doesn't mean staring without blinking. It means looking someone in the eye, occasionally looking away for a couple of seconds, and making a real connection.

4. Say what you mean.
In order to say exactly what you mean, you have to be clear about what you think. Fuzzy thoughts lead to cloudy verbal expressions. Ask for some time to gain that degree of clarity if necessary.

5. Cut to the chase.
Avoid beating around the bush. Use diplomacy, but don't keep people wondering about the real point you are trying to make. Sometimes speaking in bullet points is what a situation requires.

6. Dodge lengthy, convoluted explanations.
Women frequently over-explain themselves. State your idea or opinion, then offer one or two simple reasons behind it. Talking in circles confuses the other person and dilutes your message.

7. Ask for what you need.
Realize that others cannot know your needs in most cases. It is your responsibility to tell them what you need, why you need it, and when. Make your request directly, simply, and clearly without undue demand or arrogance.

8. Control your emotions.
As a rule of thumb, crying, yelling, or cursing are not acceptable demonstrations of strong emotion. You can express anger, frustration, and disappointment by stating how you feel using reasonable, respectful language. Reserve histrionics for your home.

9. Use a pleasant tone of voice.
While tone can vary-and should-be sure to carry on most conversations in a pleasing voice. Not too loud. Not too soft. Interject brief periods of silence to allow the other person to digest your message. Smile while speaking, or picture yourself smiling.

10. Don't apologize for your ideas or opinions.
Chronic apologizers lack confidence. Say what is on your mind in a way others can hear it, respect it, and respond to it. But don't say you are sorry for what you believe, think, or feel.